Oh, I hope this morning finds you well, dear one.

I hope when you woke up this morning you remembered that Heavenly hands formed you. That you opened your eyes knowing you were the creation of the Creator and the prize of the Father. Your heart, oh my, that beating heart has life overflowing and dreams pulsing and love just waiting to explode. 

I hope you know that His mind finds rest in you. 

Do you know that? 

I love that He thinks of us. 

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And even when the world stops and starts, there is faithfulness that guides. How perfect for this truth? How spot on for this drop of hope? And then we look at each other and realize that oh my gosh, I’m not the only one wishing and hoping. I’m not the only one looking at the sky, praying to my Dad, waiting with impatient patience for this season to pass. Wanting Him to move when He asks me to stop and wait. 

And, God, can I just lay it out now? I just need You. 

So there’s that for this Friday and the realness that the earth has four seasons but us humans? Oh, we have so many more. And that hurts. 

It hurts that the seasons come and go and ebb and flow and all the while we are just kids staring at the sky praying. We pray for the season to change, but then somehow we want to stay right where we are. 

We are ready to go, but want to stay. 

And, God, I just can’t make my mind up.

Because, honestly? I’m scared to death. 

I’m scared that Your plan will make me stretch until marks form. I’m scared that Your way might make me leave my comfort zone. I’m scared that I won’t have money to live on and people will turn their back on me and I’ll fail. I’m scared I’ll be alone and find isolation when I long for community. I’m scared that it won’t work out and things will fall apart and I’ll end up flat on my face. I’m scared that I won’t be enough.

And maybe more than anything, I’m just scared You’re right. I’m petrified that You have all this together and You’ll call me to move and You’re ready for me to go. I’m scared You’ve prepared me perfectly and You’ve made my path sure. I’m scared that You just might change the world if I obey. 

Because that would be so like You.

You have shaken this soul awake and told me to rise. You have sparked the match and now, now I’m on fire. 

Jesus, please know I love You. But also please know? This kid is scared. Scared to death. Because You’re real and You’re You and there is so much of You I just long for. So much of You I have prayed for. And maybe, maybe this moment is it.

Maybe the seasons are changing? 

So here’s this daughter of Yours and maybe a few others with me and bottom line You need to help us. Our feet are stuck and it feels like cement and the air is thick and sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe. But then You show up and You remind and You speak and walls crumble. And the little insecurity that felt like it was taking me over? You place that under Your feet. The fear that seemed to suffocate my lungs? You rip in two. 

My God, You are the Author and the Season Changer and You have said It is time. You have shaken this soul awake and told me to rise. You have sparked the match and now, now I’m on fire. 

So watch me burn, my Lord, watch me burn and fan the flame. You have set this course. You have planned these steps. You have called into existence the unknown and even if the way takes a turn, You are trustworthy and sure.

“The Lord gave me this message: ‘I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart..'” -Jeremiah 1:4-5a NLT

I thought just this week on Your grace and the way You call Your children. You reminded me that my cup is not filled by human hands or man made plans. My cup, oh my cup is filled by a Heavenly pitcher that pours the clearest, cool water of Life imaginable. Father, You fill me. 

Father, You lead me. Father, You call me. Father, You change me. 

And I can’t say for sure that I’ll be committed all the time. Odds are at least once a day I’m going to drift off track and have a good cry. I’m going to be nervous and shaky and stressed. I’m going to lash out at You and wish for the old and point out all the bad. I’m going to fall back into me without falling into You. 

So in those moments of my weakness, will You just remember this conversation? Will You remember me kneeling here and crying here and bringing calloused hands here? Will You remember that I said Your Name like never before and told You Thank You a billion times for the way You’ve laid out my life? Will You remember that I’m just a kid and I’m trying my hardest? Will You remember that right now I trusted You like I never have before? 

Jesus, will You please remember that I love You? 

I love You.

Jesus, no matter the course, I just…I just love You. 

So, let’s do this. Let the season change and the earth shake with a fearful-ly made woman moving forward. But above all things, let it be known…okay, deep breath, let it be known that You, sweet and saving Jesus, You are the One. 

You are the One. Here’s my hand…

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